Established By God And Other "Facts"

Another post on the IAMNAC site caught my eye today. I am always amazed at the statements people make, especially when they are put forth plainly, as if it was a known fact that anyone could find if they simply opened their Bible to the correct page and started reading. The discussion referenced can be found here, the following statement was made by an utterly deluded New Apostolic member:

Robert Sprague: The New Apostolic Church was established by Christ to prepare the His Bride. The scriptures support this. If you do not believe this, that is up to you.Your Pastors would have it some other way because they have no authority under God.

Fascinating! The scriptures support this! I knew that Jesus established a church, but I had no idea it was the New Apostolic Church! And according to Sprague, pastors in other churches "have no authority under God", the inference being that only New Apostolic ministers have such authority. Amazing - billions of people must have missed the part where it specifically mentions the NAC in the Bible! Perhaps Robert Sprague could save everyone the trouble of searching through their Bibles by pointing it out exactly where Jesus establishes the New Apostolic Church, it would be greatly appreciated by the thousands of other churches and faiths that obviously have it all wrong!

Of course, intelligent people know that the Bible doesn't mention the NAC anywhere, so how could the claim of "Godly authority" be proven? Obviously there's no scriptural evidence to support Sprague's idiotic claim, and he knows it because he uses the following weasel words: "If you do not believe this, that is up to you." Ahh! It's a matter of belief then, not a fact! I should have known! What about testing the New Apostolic "apostles", would that prove their Godly authority? What about the challenges I've issued to the NAC "apostles", both here on New Apostasy and in other posts of mine on the NACBoard? Why, Sprague already has an answer for that, a little further up in the same post:

Who would put the Lord and His servants to the "test"? Satan.

So we can't even test the "Godly authorities" in the New Apostolic Church because any test could only come from that other imaginary being: Satan. That's right, kids - no test of Sprague's claims will ever be considered, because all tests of "Godly authority" come from Satan. At least for that bit of nonsense he offers up a Bible quote (Matthew 4:5-7, if you're interested), but I still don't understand how praying for a sign from God - with the hope and expectation that he'll give you a sign - is substantially any different than "putting God to the test". Do you?

Update: just when you think it couldn't get any more bizarre, Sprague posts this gem:

We cannot base our belief in something that is not said.

Unbelievable - apparently you can base your belief on whatever you feel like, as long as you're Robert Sprague. Where was the New Apostolic Church established by Jesus in the scriptures again? Sheesh.

UPDATE: I see Robert Sprague has deleted just about every "conversation" that existed on the IAMNAC site. He replaced everything with his boring, deluded monologues. What a complete dipshit.

The Burden of Proof - Proving Prayer Works

Recently, another blowhard has shown up on the NACBoard, this one going by the name "Robert Sprague". After a lot of silly blustering about how God had "taken care of" his enemies and those who "opposed him", and how we should put God to the prayer test so we can see that "he won't be stingy", I issued a challenge to Robert, which he completely (and purposely) misunderstood and misrepresented. Other than accepting the challenge - or even showing any curiosity regarding what the challenge I had in mind might actually be - he posted this:

Robert Sprague: "First don't threaten me. If you want to do something, have the guts to do it. Don't wast your time and mine with idle threats. It's childish. Secondly, you are the one who continually denies the existence of God which places the burden of proof on you. So prove it. If you cannot then be man enough to admit you are wrong. Thirdly, It takes more faith to believe that the universe started out as matter so dense that it could fit on the head of a pin and then for no apparent reason explode than it is to believe in God. Further it takes immeasurably more faith to believe in the Theory of Evolution than to believe that God created Heaven and earth. So in reality you have more faith then any of us."

I have no idea where Cosmology and the Theory of Evolution (he seems to think these things are one and the same) fit in a challenge about proving the efficacy of prayer, but I was struck by the way he demanded that I prove a negative as he went on to make a number of baseless assertions. I'd be glad to debate Robert about evolution, but that's not what this challenge was all about. Can I get even one person to accept a challenge about prayer without having them rant about evolution or demanding that I prove a negative or calling me "childish"? Why is it childish to want to test something? In fact, isn't it more childish to claim that you bow your head and speak to a deity that never talks back to you, and never does what his believers claim he can do?

Why is it so hard to set up an Elijah-like challenge with God's believers? Scrolling down the NACBoard link, you can see that I made a little altar out of basswood, and bought some sacrificial animals (a plastic lamb, cow, and dinosaur) in order to test God's almighty power, to see if Robert truly had God on his side, if God really bothered to listen to his prayers. Would he "take care of" his enemies (for the purposes of this challenge, I'll consider myself his "enemy") by making that little wooden altar burst into flames? It's a simple challenge, and not one without biblical precedent. Can your God make that little wooden altar burst into flames and consume the sacrificial animals within 24 hours? The believers can get as many people as they want to pray for this, I simply want to document it happening. Is that too much to ask?

One of these days I'm going to get a webcam and set that little altar up in my driveway . . . I won't wet it first like Elijah did, I just want to see God burn up it up in a display of his awesome omnipotent power. He'd definitely gain me as a new convert, and perhaps some of the people watching the live video feed. Isn't gaining new converts and saving their souls what it's all about? Is there even one believer out there who will accept this simple challenge? Robert Sprague - or anyone else - here's your chance!

Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them

A recent post on the NACBoard caught my attention, it being an excerpt from the New Apostolic Church's "Our Family" magazine from the May 2009 issue, "Divine Service in Tule", p. 29 English edition, the NAC's "Chief Apostle" Wilhelm Leber speaking (bolding mine):

"What is even more important is God's promise to hold our right hand and lead us. That is why," said the Chief Apostle, "the question is justified: Do you really allow the Lord to lead you?" As positive examples from the Bible, he spoke of Abraham, Joseph, and Moses, all of who permitted the Lord to lead them. In contrast to this, the Chief Apostle also made reference to Korah and his followers, as well as to the rich young man who could not follow the Lord Jesus.

"From this we conclude that if we
* believe the Lord and trust in His loving care,
* fear him,
* are prepared to serve Him,
* do not oppose those whom the Lord has given us as vessels of blessing, and
* are prepared to follow Him

our life will be blessed and we will ultimately reach the goal of our faith," said the Chief Apostle as he concluded his sermon.

"Do not oppose those whom the Lord has given . . ." - ???

How exactly does one determine whether or not someone was a vessel given by the Lord? Is there an official certificate signed by God himself that would prove such a fantastic claim? Is there a badge given to individuals making the claim that they are "God's Anointed" that would prove their apostolic authority?

I can barely contain my amusement - and annoyance - at the huge set of stones it takes someone (or in the NAC's case, a group of deluded someones) to claim that they and they alone are "God's Anointed", "vessels of blessing" given by God himself that should not be opposed.

What complete and utter nonsense. Liars should be opposed whenever and wherever they are encountered. That's how you stop lies from spreading. That's how you stop insufferable charlatans from convincing people that they're on a mission from God.

Wilhelm Leber (and the rest of the New Apostolic Church's self-appointed "apostles"), unless you can back up your fantastic claims with some actual evidence, do shut up. You mentioned the Band of Korah in your sermon - are you that deluded that you think some kind of punishment will befall those who "oppose" you? What exactly does that mean? Is it considered opposing you to point out the lies you tell to people? Then consider me your opposition.

Any time you'd like to see the "special powers" you think you have in action, you let me know. Critical thinking and verifiable evidence will always overcome the pious lies and superstitious nonsense promoted by delusional charlatans.

Scientific Proof That God Exists!

Faithful "New Apostasy" reader/contributor Phoenix alerted me to this item. Now, whenever I wonder whether critical thinking exists amongst the membership of the New Apostolic Church or not, I simply have to read this page to get my answer.

Not even one person could point out that quotes from certain scientists are simply quotes, not "proof". Not one individual had the presence of mind to point out that opinion does not equal fact. No one stepped forward to point out that some of those quotes were taken out of context, and some have been refuted by the people attributed to them, most notably the quotes attributed to Einstein and Hawking. No, if it sounds good, they'll swallow it all down and ask for more. It'd be funny if it weren't so sad.

I'll say it because it needs to be said: "Quote mining is not scientific proof of anything - they're just quotes, folks."

EDIT: 2 hours after I posted this, a NAC skeptic responded to the NAC Singles post. Hope springs eternal!

"I See Dead People!"

I'm having a lot of fun reading some of the stuff on the NAC Singles website, in particular the featured news story about a New Apostolic member who claims to be able to see "angels, souls, spirits, demons and much more" after receiving a visit from none other than the archangel Michael. The angel informs our hero that "very few people reach the level of faith that you have reached", and proceeds to lay out a "plan" that God chose for him before the foundations of time. It's all in a book NAC member and former minister Jim Rybak wrote. He also has a website where he offers to "heal your energy" and tell you all about your chakras and auras. Oh, and just in case you wondered whether he's abandoned his NAC beliefs, he's still a church-going member who sings in the choir.

How does one reconcile the teachings of the New Apostolic Church with such new-age tripe? Has this faithful member ever offered his divinely-inspired insight to one of the NAC's "apostles"? If so, I wonder how that played out. What about the NAC members at large, what revelations can Jim offer the faithful now that he sees dead people? And what about those pesky demons and spirits, how can we spot them should we want to avoid them? If only Jim can see them, it seems there's some important information that he has a duty to disseminate to the great unwashed masses who haven't achieved his awesome level of faith.

Delusions are a fascinating thing. But have you ever noticed that there's never a lithium dart laying around when you really need one?

Understanding The Bible The NAC Way

I saw this missive from Wilhelm Leber, "Chief Apostle" of the NAC, on the New Apostolic Church International website:

... I would still like to stress the following: according to the New Apostolic understanding of faith, the Apostle ministry has been endowed with the authority to interpret Holy Scripture. This does not mean that believers will not profit from reading the Bible. But it falls to the Apostle ministry to interpret the Bible, to clarify matters, and to provide instruction in faith. In so doing, Scriptural passages are considered in their context, since overemphasis on individual statements can lead to the wrong conclusions.

Truly amazing when you consider that the only apostles who may have been able to claim such authority were the original apostles mentioned in the Bible. The New Apostolic Church believes that their apostles were "called" in the 1830's after some zealots had a few dreams and visions. Oh, and after the church went through a few schisms, too. The NAC apostles are all laymen, there's not one of them that has had any formal theological training, yet somehow it "falls" on these self-appointed men to interpret the Bible and tell everyone exactly what it is they're reading. And to "clarify matters". Gotcha.

If, as Willy says up there, scriptural passages are to be considered in their context, can any NAC "apostle" point out exactly where in the Bible it mentions people flopping around on the floor in the 1830's and appointing these men as "God's Ambassadors"? Can they show me where the Bible mentions a "Chief Apostle" being appointed by God in the 19th century?

If not, I think it's safe to say they're full of crap.

Anathema maranatha!

I've been reading some posts on the NAC singles site lately, just to see what the faithful have to say for themselves (the site is not an official NAC-sanctioned site). Unfortunately, there isn't much that isn't the product of indoctrination. Take a look at this current example of clear, rational thinking:

THE LORD IS COMING. Am I ready! Am i still clinging to earthly treasures and things. As a Minister it is sometimes scary to see how many of us do not realise the earnest of the time. Are we ready for the First Ressurection because??? i AM UTTERLY SCARED NOT TO BE FOUND WORTHY.

How sad, to be terrified of "not being found worthy", as if spiritual "worthiness" were something that could be quantified. To spend life living in dread of a fictional event that has been "imminent" for over 2000 years now. The writer continues:

Please Brothers and Sisters let us Pray earnestly for each other and more so for those of our Bretheren that do not understand or who haved turned away.

Not content with feeling miserable all by himself (I assume the writer is male, because the New Apostolic Church doesn't ordain female ministers), the need to spread the dread is so great that he prays to his god that those who have rejected the offer to live an eternity doing only what an all-powerful deity thinks they must do forever and ever will be returned to the fold, so they too can live in fear for the rest of their days until they die, never having realized "the goal".

Thanks, but no thanks. I don't need your prayers, nor do I want them. I'm immune to the self-loathing and fear that has captured your mind.