When God Changes His Mind, Who Gets Notified?

The subject of this post sounds like it could be about the NAC and Johann Bischoff's utterly failed and disastrous "Botschaft" - but it isn't, it's about weddings and how the "rules" for faithful New Apostolics have changed over the years without any good explanation as to WHY.

 

Recently the daughter of the "District Apostle" Leonard Kolb was married. Her wedding generated quite a bit of discussion on the NACBoard, partly because of the fact that the wedding was held on the same day as the much-vaunted "Service For The Departed", and also because of some photos that were taken at the reception which showed people engaging in activities that just a few short years ago would have sent every NAC minister running for the exits in order to shun any evil practices (like dancing or drinking) that might sully the blessed event or cast a sinful shadow on God's Blessing™.

 

A little background information may be in order. In the New Apostolic Church, everything you do in your life is assumed to be under the purview of "The One Who Goes Before You". Haircuts, skirt length, people you date, cars you buy, homes you purchase, jobs you take - all of these things you are expected to bring before your "Bearer of Blessing" ("BoB") so he can give you his Godly Insight and ultimately God's Blessing™  - if you do as you're told. Failure to do as you're told shows that your "heart's attitude" isn't right. Here is an example of the kind of control the NAC likes to exert over its members with regard to weddings - this letter is from 2002, so it's less than a decade since this was the law of the land for New Apostolics. Here is an older example from 1991, but it clearly shows that only classical music could be played at the wedding reception, with NO DANCING and NO OPEN BAR.

 

These are just a few things that were denied "God's Children" (code name for New Apostolics), there were many BoBs who took it upon themselves to enforce even more trivial legalistic things, from songs to be sung to what kind of flowers could be used, completely removing any joy others received on a day that was supposed to be exactly the way they wanted it and imagined it to be. And "District Apostle" Leonard Kolb and his father, retired "Apostle" Kolb (don't get me started on the nepotism aspect of the NAC!) were Holy Enforcers of God's Will. I wonder how many people were told to change plans they had made for their wedding day by these men - "God's Servants". How many bitter tears were cried over hard decisions to be made that were forced on them by men pretending to know the will of an imaginary deity, how many threats were made of a wedding blessing being witheld unless there was total compliance with their edicts? I know plenty of people who were affected, some in my own family.

 

But just look at the pictures from Kolb's daughter's wedding! Apparently God has finally changed his mind, just in time for Kolb's precious angel to enjoy her special day! Why, even God's "apostles" enjoyed some hooch and cut a rug! The only explanation that makes any sense is that God revealed to his "apostles" that he was no longer displeased with dancing, that Satan had no hold on it. Where just a few years ago drinking and dancing at a wedding reception was just asking for Satan to cast his evil pall over the wedding blessing, God MUST have changed his mind, and somehow he told Lenny that everything that was once verboten was now blessed and holy. Where God previously enabled a European "District Apostle" to interpret scripture (only NAC "apostles" have the authority to interpret scripture - try not to choke to death laughing at that one!), I am left scratching my head wondering where the corresponding interpretation of scripture removing the sin from dancing can be found, and who got this blessed and joyous notification?

Why was dancing displeasing to God for thousands of years, and when did he decide that it didn't displease him any more? What celestial event caused God to change his mind? What words of reason can God offer to all those who were denied the pleasure of dancing for several millenia? Exactly who was told about this change of mind, and how was the message disseminated from on high?
 

I know I'll never get a satisfactory answer to my questions because deluded, irrational thinking runs rampant in the NAC (as it does in any religion). Yesterday they called something black, today it will be white, it's anyone's guess what it will be tomorrow, but rest assured, anything the NAC "apostles" tell the faithful comes directly from God! And as long as the faithful turn off their brains and blindly follow in lockstep with "Those Who Go Before Them", no hypocrisy will ever be challenged or exposed. Only the bliss and happiness that mindless idiots feel will be their share, which comes from pretending they're doing "God's Will" whenever some hypocrites in black suits tell them so in order to keep the sheep slumbering and distracted, barely noticing when their leaders change God's mind for him.

Covert Congregations - A Display Of Disingenuousness?

What does a church do when it is afraid of its core message being discovered and ultimately rejected? It starts covert congregations that don't reveal their affiliation with the parent church, in an effort to "win the souls over" first before telling them about their real doctrine and beliefs. At least that's what the New Apostolic Church did in New Braunfels, Texas. Apparently they took former "District Apostle" Richard Freund's words to heart when he said:

 

"You cant walk up to a guest and say, Do you know you've never had your sins forgiven? Do you know you haven't been sealed with the Holy Spirit? Now surely those things are true, but that isnt any way to draw souls. Thats going to make them think we think were better than we are. And thats not getting the foot in the door. The foot has to go in the door quietly and nicely and then win their hearts and then comes the time to talk about how it should be and how it is and what we believe."

 

They called themselves the "Compass Congregation", led by New Apostolic "priest" Patrick True, with a website (now defunct) that preached "God's message" and "Christ's message" (are they two different messages?), encouraging people to come dressed however they felt comfortable. What was interesting to the denizens of the NACBoard was that no mention of apostles was ever made, nor was their affiliation with the NAC to be found anywhere on the website.

 

A few of us wrote to Pat True with some questions about the Compass Congregation, but he chose to ignore our e-mails because in typical NAC fashion, silence always makes a situation better. Basically all we wanted to know was A) if this was a case of Pat True striking out on his own, or did the hierarchy know about it, and B) if Compass Congregation was eventually going to be a NAC congregation, when were they going to tell their new members about apostles being necessary for salvation and forgiveness of sins? Those simple questions proved too difficult for Pat True, so queries were sent up the NAC chain of command.

 

In less than 2 weeks, the official word from on high was pronounced by church media representative Peter Johanning, relaying the official excuse as offered up by "District Apostle" Leonard Kolb:

 

"The story behind Compass (New Braunfels) is as follows: This rector (Pat True) asked if he could try an experiment. The word 'apostolic' strongly denotes Pentecostal in the southern regions of the USA and we believe has deterred people from visiting our congregations. His idea was to make a sign called Compass Congregation (in larger letters) of the New Apostolic Church (in smaller letters) to see if it would attract more guests. This rector professes our faith and our apostles and in no way is trying to create an independent organization. His aim was to experiment with signage and some of the organizational matters to open the way for better guest attendance."

 

This is nonsense. If the Compass Congregation website is any indication of the "signage" used, there was no mention of the New Apostolic Church at all anywhere in their name or logo. If the perceived problem was with the name, when were they planning on introducing new members to the NAC? Besides, a google search shows that Pentecostal churches don't seem to be hurting for new members in the Southwest, so I don't see how that could be a problem. And the NAC is a Pentecostal church, despite their silly denials - they claim their "Godly authority" comes from people who flopped around on the floor and had visions and made prophecies in the 1830's. That's Pentecostal by anyone's definition.

 

So after some initial embarrassment for the NAC hierarchy, Compass Congregation's future is unknown. The real slap in the face was to the NAC reformers, who lately are seeing a return to the hardline days of the Kraus 70's, with "apostles" all the way up to the "Chief Apostle" telling members that if they don't like the NAC the way it is, they should leave. That's great advice, and they're well within their rights to say such a thing. If only they'd stop lying and tell the truth when approaching new marks.

 

It seems disingenuous at the very least that when they want to lure in new suckers, they feel the necessity to hide their true beliefs, and incorporate some of the initiatives the reformers have been seeking all along - more talk of Jesus and less talk about "apostles", praise bands, less insistence on black & white "uniforms" being worn, etc. When you're dealing with people who lie for a living, I suppose you should expect that lying is second nature to them, where telling the truth becomes an option that is reserved for a later day, after the "foot is in the door". 

 

And the hierarchy wonders why that flushing sound is getting louder and louder with each passing day.

 

Established By God And Other "Facts"

Another post on the IAMNAC site caught my eye today. I am always amazed at the statements people make, especially when they are put forth plainly, as if it was a known fact that anyone could find if they simply opened their Bible to the correct page and started reading. The discussion referenced can be found here, the following statement was made by an utterly deluded New Apostolic member:

Robert Sprague: The New Apostolic Church was established by Christ to prepare the His Bride. The scriptures support this. If you do not believe this, that is up to you.Your Pastors would have it some other way because they have no authority under God.

Fascinating! The scriptures support this! I knew that Jesus established a church, but I had no idea it was the New Apostolic Church! And according to Sprague, pastors in other churches "have no authority under God", the inference being that only New Apostolic ministers have such authority. Amazing - billions of people must have missed the part where it specifically mentions the NAC in the Bible! Perhaps Robert Sprague could save everyone the trouble of searching through their Bibles by pointing it out exactly where Jesus establishes the New Apostolic Church, it would be greatly appreciated by the thousands of other churches and faiths that obviously have it all wrong!

Of course, intelligent people know that the Bible doesn't mention the NAC anywhere, so how could the claim of "Godly authority" be proven? Obviously there's no scriptural evidence to support Sprague's idiotic claim, and he knows it because he uses the following weasel words: "If you do not believe this, that is up to you." Ahh! It's a matter of belief then, not a fact! I should have known! What about testing the New Apostolic "apostles", would that prove their Godly authority? What about the challenges I've issued to the NAC "apostles", both here on New Apostasy and in other posts of mine on the NACBoard? Why, Sprague already has an answer for that, a little further up in the same post:

Who would put the Lord and His servants to the "test"? Satan.

So we can't even test the "Godly authorities" in the New Apostolic Church because any test could only come from that other imaginary being: Satan. That's right, kids - no test of Sprague's claims will ever be considered, because all tests of "Godly authority" come from Satan. At least for that bit of nonsense he offers up a Bible quote (Matthew 4:5-7, if you're interested), but I still don't understand how praying for a sign from God - with the hope and expectation that he'll give you a sign - is substantially any different than "putting God to the test". Do you?

Update: just when you think it couldn't get any more bizarre, Sprague posts this gem:

We cannot base our belief in something that is not said.

Unbelievable - apparently you can base your belief on whatever you feel like, as long as you're Robert Sprague. Where was the New Apostolic Church established by Jesus in the scriptures again? Sheesh.

UPDATE: I see Robert Sprague has deleted just about every "conversation" that existed on the IAMNAC site. He replaced everything with his boring, deluded monologues. What a complete dipshit.

The Burden of Proof - Proving Prayer Works

Recently, another blowhard has shown up on the NACBoard, this one going by the name "Robert Sprague". After a lot of silly blustering about how God had "taken care of" his enemies and those who "opposed him", and how we should put God to the prayer test so we can see that "he won't be stingy", I issued a challenge to Robert, which he completely (and purposely) misunderstood and misrepresented. Other than accepting the challenge - or even showing any curiosity regarding what the challenge I had in mind might actually be - he posted this:

Robert Sprague: "First don't threaten me. If you want to do something, have the guts to do it. Don't wast your time and mine with idle threats. It's childish. Secondly, you are the one who continually denies the existence of God which places the burden of proof on you. So prove it. If you cannot then be man enough to admit you are wrong. Thirdly, It takes more faith to believe that the universe started out as matter so dense that it could fit on the head of a pin and then for no apparent reason explode than it is to believe in God. Further it takes immeasurably more faith to believe in the Theory of Evolution than to believe that God created Heaven and earth. So in reality you have more faith then any of us."

I have no idea where Cosmology and the Theory of Evolution (he seems to think these things are one and the same) fit in a challenge about proving the efficacy of prayer, but I was struck by the way he demanded that I prove a negative as he went on to make a number of baseless assertions. I'd be glad to debate Robert about evolution, but that's not what this challenge was all about. Can I get even one person to accept a challenge about prayer without having them rant about evolution or demanding that I prove a negative or calling me "childish"? Why is it childish to want to test something? In fact, isn't it more childish to claim that you bow your head and speak to a deity that never talks back to you, and never does what his believers claim he can do?

Why is it so hard to set up an Elijah-like challenge with God's believers? Scrolling down the NACBoard link, you can see that I made a little altar out of basswood, and bought some sacrificial animals (a plastic lamb, cow, and dinosaur) in order to test God's almighty power, to see if Robert truly had God on his side, if God really bothered to listen to his prayers. Would he "take care of" his enemies (for the purposes of this challenge, I'll consider myself his "enemy") by making that little wooden altar burst into flames? It's a simple challenge, and not one without biblical precedent. Can your God make that little wooden altar burst into flames and consume the sacrificial animals within 24 hours? The believers can get as many people as they want to pray for this, I simply want to document it happening. Is that too much to ask?

One of these days I'm going to get a webcam and set that little altar up in my driveway . . . I won't wet it first like Elijah did, I just want to see God burn up it up in a display of his awesome omnipotent power. He'd definitely gain me as a new convert, and perhaps some of the people watching the live video feed. Isn't gaining new converts and saving their souls what it's all about? Is there even one believer out there who will accept this simple challenge? Robert Sprague - or anyone else - here's your chance!

Lies And The Lying Liars Who Tell Them

A recent post on the NACBoard caught my attention, it being an excerpt from the New Apostolic Church's "Our Family" magazine from the May 2009 issue, "Divine Service in Tule", p. 29 English edition, the NAC's "Chief Apostle" Wilhelm Leber speaking (bolding mine):

"What is even more important is God's promise to hold our right hand and lead us. That is why," said the Chief Apostle, "the question is justified: Do you really allow the Lord to lead you?" As positive examples from the Bible, he spoke of Abraham, Joseph, and Moses, all of who permitted the Lord to lead them. In contrast to this, the Chief Apostle also made reference to Korah and his followers, as well as to the rich young man who could not follow the Lord Jesus.

"From this we conclude that if we
* believe the Lord and trust in His loving care,
* fear him,
* are prepared to serve Him,
* do not oppose those whom the Lord has given us as vessels of blessing, and
* are prepared to follow Him

our life will be blessed and we will ultimately reach the goal of our faith," said the Chief Apostle as he concluded his sermon.

"Do not oppose those whom the Lord has given . . ." - ???

How exactly does one determine whether or not someone was a vessel given by the Lord? Is there an official certificate signed by God himself that would prove such a fantastic claim? Is there a badge given to individuals making the claim that they are "God's Anointed" that would prove their apostolic authority?

I can barely contain my amusement - and annoyance - at the huge set of stones it takes someone (or in the NAC's case, a group of deluded someones) to claim that they and they alone are "God's Anointed", "vessels of blessing" given by God himself that should not be opposed.

What complete and utter nonsense. Liars should be opposed whenever and wherever they are encountered. That's how you stop lies from spreading. That's how you stop insufferable charlatans from convincing people that they're on a mission from God.

Wilhelm Leber (and the rest of the New Apostolic Church's self-appointed "apostles"), unless you can back up your fantastic claims with some actual evidence, do shut up. You mentioned the Band of Korah in your sermon - are you that deluded that you think some kind of punishment will befall those who "oppose" you? What exactly does that mean? Is it considered opposing you to point out the lies you tell to people? Then consider me your opposition.

Any time you'd like to see the "special powers" you think you have in action, you let me know. Critical thinking and verifiable evidence will always overcome the pious lies and superstitious nonsense promoted by delusional charlatans.

Scientific Proof That God Exists!

Faithful "New Apostasy" reader/contributor Phoenix alerted me to this item. Now, whenever I wonder whether critical thinking exists amongst the membership of the New Apostolic Church or not, I simply have to read this page to get my answer.

Not even one person could point out that quotes from certain scientists are simply quotes, not "proof". Not one individual had the presence of mind to point out that opinion does not equal fact. No one stepped forward to point out that some of those quotes were taken out of context, and some have been refuted by the people attributed to them, most notably the quotes attributed to Einstein and Hawking. No, if it sounds good, they'll swallow it all down and ask for more. It'd be funny if it weren't so sad.

I'll say it because it needs to be said: "Quote mining is not scientific proof of anything - they're just quotes, folks."

EDIT: 2 hours after I posted this, a NAC skeptic responded to the NAC Singles post. Hope springs eternal!

"I See Dead People!"

I'm having a lot of fun reading some of the stuff on the NAC Singles website, in particular the featured news story about a New Apostolic member who claims to be able to see "angels, souls, spirits, demons and much more" after receiving a visit from none other than the archangel Michael. The angel informs our hero that "very few people reach the level of faith that you have reached", and proceeds to lay out a "plan" that God chose for him before the foundations of time. It's all in a book NAC member and former minister Jim Rybak wrote. He also has a website where he offers to "heal your energy" and tell you all about your chakras and auras. Oh, and just in case you wondered whether he's abandoned his NAC beliefs, he's still a church-going member who sings in the choir.

How does one reconcile the teachings of the New Apostolic Church with such new-age tripe? Has this faithful member ever offered his divinely-inspired insight to one of the NAC's "apostles"? If so, I wonder how that played out. What about the NAC members at large, what revelations can Jim offer the faithful now that he sees dead people? And what about those pesky demons and spirits, how can we spot them should we want to avoid them? If only Jim can see them, it seems there's some important information that he has a duty to disseminate to the great unwashed masses who haven't achieved his awesome level of faith.

Delusions are a fascinating thing. But have you ever noticed that there's never a lithium dart laying around when you really need one?